I need to stop coming to work sober
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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