just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize