i always forget guys have bellybuttons
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
