try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize