i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
