I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
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I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize