I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
