Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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