Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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