I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize