I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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