Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
