Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Randomize
