he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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