So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
