I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
