please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
