walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
