Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
