mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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