she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
