I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
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the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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