I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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