It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
