woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
