On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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