so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I have feelings that need drinking.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
