Texts From Last Night

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  (518): View more from New York

  After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"

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  (518): After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you" http://tfl.nu/k4ce
  Replies (42) Good night (1467) Bad night (6833)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?

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  (281): On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do? http://tfl.nu/4exj
  Replies (48) Good night (1615) Bad night (6122)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend

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  (716): Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend http://tfl.nu/uh4h
  Replies (16) Good night (1156) Bad night (3363)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.

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  (251): the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville. http://tfl.nu/cwli
  Replies (37) Good night (1292) Bad night (5145)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.

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  (801): Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes. http://tfl.nu/ehqx
  Replies (17) Good night (1105) Bad night (3425)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.

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  (860): I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage. http://tfl.nu/q50p
  Replies (17) Good night (4490) Bad night (2082)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.

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  (303): It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore. http://tfl.nu/nzed
  Replies (16) Good night (850) Bad night (3141)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..

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  (203): Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied.. http://tfl.nu/zapu
  Replies (6) Good night (3892) Bad night (890)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.

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  (806): Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone. http://tfl.nu/3odv
  Replies (5) Good night (1531) Bad night (843)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?

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  (703): Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch? http://tfl.nu/5l5a
  Replies (7) Good night (971) Bad night (1314)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.

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  (248): We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on. http://tfl.nu/3utl
  Replies (2) Good night (2075) Bad night (997)
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  (315): View more from New York

  WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.

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  (315): WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF. http://tfl.nu/3w9f
  Replies (12) Good night (1622) Bad night (479)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?

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  (740): I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin? http://tfl.nu/l0iy
  Replies (3) Good night (971) Bad night (352)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex

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  (+44): Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex http://tfl.nu/fkis
  Replies (1) Good night (696) Bad night (346)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends

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  (314): I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends http://tfl.nu/20sp
  Replies (2) Good night (346) Bad night (394)

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