Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
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Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
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I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises