So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You need Xanax blowdarts
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.