I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment