Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.