Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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