he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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