no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Found the puke drawer
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
