Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I had to cum in my sink.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
