If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Houston, we have a squirter
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
