Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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