More tranny stories later!
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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