def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
