I wanna bring you to show and tell
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
