Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
