i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Randomize
