Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I think a kid would responsible me up
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize