God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
