Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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