So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
