dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
