Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
