You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
