We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
