no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
40s are totally the cure
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
