I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
