dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
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