you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
