i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
