It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
