New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
