plz talk dirty to me
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
