I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
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I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
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