Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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