Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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