Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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